What is the Perfect man?
An Amalgam of multiple men for sure.
Men should be like brownies, soft, chewy, sweet and tough around the edges.
They should leave my relationship with my DVR, bed and coffee alone.
They should have something anything that they are good at.
They should offer to do the dishes after I have cooked, I work too so pull your damn weight around here.
They should mow the lawn or agree to move into a maintenance free community.
If something is broken, FIX IT DAMN IT!
If you can’t fix it, tell me and I will fix it.
NEVER EVER mock the woman who fixed your shower for you and installed the toilet herself
Change the toilet paper roll
Change the paper towel roll
They should take charge, unless I am in a take charge mood then hold on for the ride.
ASK DIRECTIONS
NEVER EVER LEAVE DIRTY CLOTHES ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!
Makes me laugh
Doesn't mind my overuse of the word FUCK
Don’t irate the cook, she might poison your ass.
Loves pets, babies and old people
Understands that I don’t love pets, babies and old people
Likes hardwood floors, hates carpet
Is handy
Doesn’t mind that I may not ever WANT to get married.
Doesn’t mind that should I ever agree to get married, I don’t want a wedding with more than 5 attendees.
Doesn’t mind that my opinion on children fluxuates.
Is honest
Kind
Caring
Will warm my car in the winter, scrap my windows, and dig my car out.
Will rescue me in the middle of the night when my car dies on the side of the road.
Will not complain if I A accidentally lock keys in the car B run out of gas C don’t want to have sex in the middle of the night.
Will put up with my crazy family.
Will put up with my crazy me
Will always forgive me for being: short, rude, not funny, and a smart ass
Will help me be mischievous
Will not overwhelm me
And will always love me.
Is tall.
That’s not asking too much though right?
