When a tornado met a volcano.........

This is what happens when the furies of nature collide.



This is what happens when I create, or am stressed or forget for one second that I know how to clean. Or don't sleep for 3 days or more.

Furthermore on this whole topic of sleep. I am a chronic Insomniac. I've dealt with it for ever.
When I can sleep I am restless, and it looks like I got into a fight with my bed in which usually the bed wins, my pillows tried to flee and my sheet is somehow wrapped around me so tight I have difficulty breathing.
Also I sleepwalk.
This has proven most interesting at various times in my life.

Example #1
When I was little I used to sleepwalk and get into my dad's car and he would find me in the morning sacked out in one of the backseats with a blanket and my flute. Apparently I dreamt I was a: late for school
or b: late for my flute lesson

Example #2
The month that I first moved out I stood in the hallway with my blanket throwing it at my roommates door apparently talking about how I needed to put out the fire in her room.
Her boyfriend (now husband) found me in the hallway, and tried to talk reason into me before I finally 'got the fire out' and fell in the hall face first.

Example #3
At various times when I lived with my best friend and her boyfriend, I would wake up upside down in the living room on the couch. He worked the night shift and would tell me about how I walked out to my jeep and sat in the drivers seat and he would sit in the passengers waiting for me to get bored and either fall asleep or go back inside. Also I tried to do laundry (throw detergent at the window in the laundry room and shove random things in the washer.) And I tried to go down stairs multiple times, in which he would gently correct my course and I would end up on the couch.

I am generally a person who loves the whole concept of sleep. But am so sad it dislikes me. I am not one who sleeps with others easily. My dear best friend found out on a road trip when I literally kicked her out of bed.
My ex-boyfriend/wanna be future hubbers, found out when I punched him and told him he was snoring to loud. (BTW I have no recollection of this)
My mother found out on a road trip when I struggled from the bed and ran into a door waking up my grandmother in the next bed and I muttered incoherently except for repeating smotherer smotherer

With all this said, I generally go with the pyschotic break form of sleep. The one where you have been 3 days with no tangible amount of sleep and eventually you crack until you have had enough sleep.
It works for me.



But beware, if you catch me on day three I could be doing this:


Only I would be naked, and I don't look as good as this chick
Oh and I would probably tell you something about how I am the lady of the fountain and I make all the decisions of the universe.


But that hasn't happened in a while.

At least not in the last few months.

Truckers and the speed of stupid

Today I suffered from what the hell happened to that 2 hr buffer I gave myself syndrome.
I've been moving at the speed of stupid all day.

I entered into a black hole of missing minutes that I doubt I ever will figure out what happened, thus I was late every where I went and had no good excuse. (Can you tell people you had a mental black out or perhaps a real one without being concerned you might be narcoleptic?)

Then I saw a truck.
Trucks unleash all sorts of sexy thoughts in my head.
Because to me all truck owners look like this

So we can do this

Instead they usually look like this


And they are morons who think they are super sexy and try to run you over. Jerk faces all of them they all suck.
I'll stick with Jeep owners.

Cause they are all sexy sexy men, who are international spies on the side. And like to off road.

Don't knock it. I am probably right

Oh and yes I know I am delusional.

Spaghettie, underwear and the liq

Tonight I address you over a bowl of my mom's famous 1billion calorie spaghetti. It's cold.

Recently our microwaver died.
And it was replaced with one that I am certain doesn't perform as well.
That said.

After work today I decided I needed to make a stop at my favorite liquior store to get this:

I know I've touted the glory of the Bud light lime enough already. (it really is a great product and bonus I get what ever is bought because no one else I know likes it!!!)

At any rate, I was walking into the liq (thank you to my best friends brother for the street terminology of this in high school. I think my street cred just increased a little) And I caught sight of myself in the window. I've been loosing weight and I look good. Well that and I've always been one of those weirdos that likes to look into mirrors and shiny surfaces and makes fun faces, much like this kid:

So I started to strut into the store just a little. And I was looking hot, then it happened.
You see I said I've been loosing weight. And it was right then that my underwear fell right off my ass. Thankfully I was wearing jeans. So debating weather to be this girl:

I let it slide. And thankfully I did. Who works nights at the liq? My high school boyfriend that I unwittenly dated for 4 yrs.
This in its self is an interesting story.
I dated HomeSkillet, let's shorten in to HS for 4 yrs. Through high school.......irony on that name huh?
At any rate, I didn't know I was dating him until about 5 years after I graduated. I was iratly telling someone that I didn't understand kids these days, why when I was in high school (hello great grandpa, you needed to come back from the dead and throw your voice huh?) You didn't have the sex all the time, you sat together at lunch and held hands and whispered to each other and walked each other to all your classes.

Then a day or so later again I was on a soap box about this when I told a friend from high school and she said: "Oh you mean like you and HS?"
"No we never dated we were just friends"
"You ate lunch together every day, held hands, whispered to each other, and walked each other to all your classes, also you talked on the phone a lot, everyone just assumed you were dating."
"What the hell?!?!??! Shouldn't some one notify you when you are dating them?"
Laughter ensues.

At any rate, there he was stocking the cooler with alcohol, looking as cute as he did in high school. Here's the kicker, I've seen him there before but he always runs away when I walk in and or has some one else wait on me pretending not to know me from a fly on the wall....

But I know.

And even though he's married happily now.

I caught him looking.

And I shook it just a little better for him.

That and I wanted to make sure I didn't loose my underwear.