Tomorrow's Headline for the K-state Colleigian

"K-state open after snowstorm. Maitenence workers laugh as students break their asses on the snow" Article as follows: Sunday night's snow surprised some students as they awoke Monday morning. A well placed alert from K-state reminded them that gone are snow days and welcome to adult life. This gentle snow that looks lovely, (if you can ignore the fact Christmas was two months ago) and brings about mental images of a wintery wonderland, nights in front of a fire and hot cocoa after a rousing snowball fight (girls vs boys, brothers vs sisters, bros vs hoes......etc) brings about only the most positive of thoughts when being viewed remotely. Then it happens. You actually have to go out into it. What? Snow? I mastered that stuff when I was like eight, I got this. Walking in the snow, walking in the snow. ooooooooh hell that was a slick patch. Walking less confidently in the snow, still think I'm the bomb.........Argh! No that wasn't a pirate mating call that was the confused sound of a person trying to walk when their boots fail them fill up with unsolicited ice and they suddenly see their whole life flash before their eyes. The glee and amazement that person feels when they don't bust their butt is amazing they start walking again. Now if you are like me, during this walk to your car you are thinking to your self, man this sure seems like a longer walk in the snow, to bad I don't have remote start on my car, by the time I would have gotten there the snow would have melted from the heat and I wouldn't have had to scrap because I, A: Do not currently have a husband who can be ordered to scrap my car for me, B: A p-Whipped boyfriend I can manipulate into doing it for me or C: a prospective guy on the line who is trying to impress me with how wonderful he is before he lets loose the first dating taboo (yes, I'm talking about farting infront of your girl the first time.). So finally you arrive at your car, HAHA snow I have bestest you! I am still as agile as an eight year old, I have survived your perilous matri of death, I can totally scrap my car and have it drive. Now, no matter what people say, a ford focus is not the best car for winter. Not here no way no how. Because Kansas is a great state, they tell you "ah ya, a focus, great car great gas mileage, front wheel drive perfect for winter. " What they neglect to tell you is that those city planning bastards all got together and made a pact to have each stop sign either at the base of a hill or at the bottom of one. So you A: fly through a stop sign like it didn't exist as you hit a patch of ice or B: Have 20 cars in line behind you honking because your little beast can't start on a sheet of ice and make it up the hill. But I digress. The real story is once you make it to the campus. See you made it. You are amazing you are like the eight year old, only now you can drive and stay out past dark. You walk confidently through the union from the parking garage. Out to Bosco plaza where it looks like maitenence understood, it's icy out yo! They cleared the hell out of that place. They put ice melt down! Thank *___* (insert diety of choice here) because that place is slick in rain. Then you start walking toward Hale. There's a matience dude in one of those bitchin Rhino things, (my dad wants one to lord over the neighborhood with.) Hello Friend, you think, Thank you for your fine job in making these pathways safe so I can tromp in my trendy......Oh sweet mother of *__*(insert deity of choice here) (now is also an excellent time to pull out your least classy curse words and apply them, I find combinations of at least three is good.) And you land on your ass, but don't let that stop you there, you suddenly remeber you have your back pack on with your expensive cell phone and laptop that you frugily saved for, and you are now on your back turtling most unattractivly. Then you look over and safe and sound in 45 layers of outdoors wear a maintainence worker is laughing sitting in his Rhino. Only our student body is nothing but polite so of course as they are cracking up and offering to help you they also land on their asses.
Thank you winter. We appreciate this morning of levity.

Looking fancy

These college kids crack me up.  If you brush ur hair you get told you look fancy.    At least they didnt tell me i looled like shit.
When did it become appropriate to wear sweats to school?

The 14 hr mini coma dream

I am sick. Thanks lil dudes for your death plague. I REALLY appreciate it.

As a result I had a mini coma that resulted in the strangest Tylenol PM induced dreams I have had in a while.
It all started with me as a passenger on a pirate cruise ship.





Then we crashed onto an island....More like the scene from Speed 2 Cruise control
That's better


This island was home to an Ikea like store

Only it was like Ikea and Menards.......Both places totally amazing and overwhelming. Ok maybe more over whelming than amazing on a bad day. I certainly wouldn't go to either without a huge amount of time available.



The owner of the IKEA/Menards were two brothers. They rescued us.
The passengers were very Gilligans Island-like
One looked just like Andy from the office

I married one of the brothers the rescued us. We had a beach themed wedding.

At one point we rode a double decker bus through a ghetto where I was told I wasn't black enough to have actually eaten at one of the restaurants there.


Oh an the island was owned by





wait for it






Whitney Houston.











Aren't you glad you waited through that whole thing to learn this information?
<3 Happy Saturday

My wittle dudes

My nephews had a crummy labor day

Spent the whole time in hospital.  Poor guys
  Nothings worse than a baby in hospital.  How ever nothing is as cute either.  G followed the orderly around like he owned the spot.  Then in his room he got in the crib and yelled i giraffe neenie feed me lettuce! It was 345am.
Now brodduah is in too he laid in his crib like a champ...then this rumor started that when ur a kid u get all u can eat popsicles.......popsicle mummy...mummy popsicle
Hope to the fiscal gods they can get out soon two minia in hospital for multiple days is bound to be expensive

Driving

I know that 90% of thw drivers here are young, real young.  However a few tips. 1) pay attention 2) the lines in parkin lots are not mere suggestions they are designed with safe parking in mind 3) the empty space next to the trash bins aside from popular belief is not a parking space (dont come crying to me if some inconsiderate asshole dumps garbage on your ride. 4) you are preppy and white and over priviledged stop calling you car a: the whip b: pussy wagon c: any other term you deem as cool for a car.  5) your parents are paying for it stop whining and finally 6) as a freshman the only person you are impressing with your porsche (that you constantly mispronounce) are your frat buddies.

This all being said.....suck it

Quick tour of my new digs.......

Theres a light under my cabinets! I lived here almost a month before I realized this this morning while making coffee!!!!!

for Annie

Embarking on a new chapter in my life. What's in store? School frat parties drunken liasons? Dear god i hope so