Tuesday, April 5, 2016

The Ribbiting Tale of Fit and Tall, Whose Paths Croissant Pt 2

PARIS

Hannah and Jeni exit the plane.  Both look worse for the wear after a 17-hour flight with several layover.  Jeni really looks a mess crazy big hair eye make-up that has migrated from the eyes to all over the face.  Jeni’s wearing some awful sweatpants set that says horrifically “Ghetto booty” across her butt (even though she does not possess such junk in her trunk).  The eyeball each other and shake heads.  They then gather their luggage and walk to the nearest bathroom where they both change into “French casual wear”.

Hannah comes out of the stall and with a quick brush of her hair looks flawless in her black tights and rain coat. Jeni on the other hand comes out of a stall with a striped shirt black beret and red scarf along with a black rain coat. 
“I swear to god if you pull a baguette out of your purse I’m pretending like I don’t know you” Hannah said looking at Jeni through the mirror.

“I look very French” Jeni said taking the hat off and brushing her hair into a low bun.  When she put the beret back on her head Hannah noticed that it was way too small.

“Do you even know French?” Hannah asked.

“You ask me this now, after we’ve arrived?” Jeni asked putting on the brightest color of whore red lipstick she could find.

“I didn’t really have time to think about it.”

“Of course I know French.”

A lady walked in with a child in a stroller.  The child eyeballed Jeni.  Jeni eyeballed the kid. 

“What are you doing?” Hannah asked.

“That kid is eyeballing me” Jeni said making a face at the child.

“Probably because even a kid can see how ridicules you look.”

“Dude, this baby is seriously getting on my nerves.” Jeni said trying to put on mascara.  “Look at him, he’s trying to get in my head”

“Are you really getting in a beef with a BABY at the airport.”

“He’s like the kid from the Omen.  He knows the secrets of the universe.”

“Supposedly so do you”

“He’s plotting something”

“You’re a psychic can’t you see what he’s plotting”

“I can’t psychically see through that much evil.   I’m pretty sure he’s the devil.” Jeni was now facing the child tilting her head at him.  He blew a spit bubble at her.   “See that, Damien.   I can tell these things.  His name is Damian.”

“Stop calling that child the devil incarnate. His mom’s gonna come out here and kick your ass”

“Did you see that poor woman, she knows what’s up. He’s evil”

“I thought you liked kids” Hannah asked trying to gather up her things.

“I do like normal kids, not conduits for evil” Jeni said shoving her things in her bag.

“You need coffee.”

“Oh my god I do need coffee. Hopefully they don’t just have those little shots they like to call coffee around here.”

They exited the bathroom and were walking when Hannah noticed a man with a sign. The sign read  “Psychic Honeydew Brie”

“Well that looks like it belongs to you” Hannah said laughing.

“Oh good lets try some French on him” Jeni walked up and said. “Bon juror.  Comment va?”

The man looked at her skeptically. “Honeydew Brie?”

“Oui?” Jeni said with an odd look.

He sighed.  “Come with me” He said in a strong accent.

“Oui” Jeni said again.

They followed him to a parked car.  Jeni was tapping furiously at her phone. “
Pouvons-nous arrêter pour le café s'il vous plaît ?” she asked.

The man looked at her and she smiled a big smile.  He replied irritated “
Il n'y a pas de temps , vous avez besoin de rencontrer M. Sangril

Jeni nodded.  “What did he say?” Hannah whispered.

The man put the luggage in the trunk. “No idea” Jeni whispered back.  But I’m betting we aren’t getting our snack of honeydew and brie for the ride.”

Jeni turned and saw the child from the bathroom with his parents.  Both parents looked haggard.  The father was gesticulating wildly. 

“I swear he has it out for me!” He said exasperated. “That woman from the bathroom is right, he’s the devil”

The mother rolled her eyes and squatted down to talk to the baby. “Don’t listen to daddy Damien, he’s just tired.”

Jeni hit Hannah on the arm and made an I told you face. “Evil” Jeni mouthed eyes wide and nodding.


“Crazy” Hannah replied. 

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