Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Ribbiting Tale of Fit and Tall, Whose Paths Croissant

PORTLAND



A tall statuesque woman walked down the street carrying a bright pink box of donuts and a cup of coffee.  Clamped between her teeth was a garishly bright donut covered with a thick layer of icing and a layer of fruit loops.  The woman glided expertly navigating the world in her impossibly tall heels, that coupled with her ridiculously long legs turned everyone on the streets heads in her direction.  It didn't hurt that she was also stunningly gorgeous with her short trendy hair cut, perfect figure and amazing fashion sense. She stopped outside a non descript office building.  On the window was a small sign that said "KNOCK LOUDLY CHANCES ARE I'M NOT PAYING ATTENTION". The woman balanced the coffee cup on the box while opening the door. 

Inside was a mess.  There were boxes everywhere. Music blared from the tiny speaker of a cell phone that had been shoved into a coffee mug to amplify the sound. The mug was in the center of the room. Furniture was stacked against one wall in a huge mess of items. Laying on the floor in a black robe edged with feathers was a woman who gave her best dramatic look and said.

"Sweet baby Jesus say you brought coffee.  I can't find the pot"

The first woman handed her the coffee, then she took a giant bite of her donut. From around the donut she said. "I'm so glad we decided to start the business here"

The woman on the floor looked up. "Donut guy's a hottie huh?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've had donuts every day for a month"

"Why are you on the floor?"

"I've been in contact with the spirits, deciding how the furniture placement should be"

"You dropped something and were to lazy to stand back up right away didn't you"

"No, I moved a box, I needed to rest it was quite exhausting."

The woman continued to eat her donut while opening the box to examine the contents. "What are you wearing by the way."

The woman on the floor jumped up and with a flamboyancy only she could posses she spun around and showed off the ridicules get up she was wearing. "I've just solved the case of the widow and her werecat lover.  To do so I had to go undercover in the community of Harmony Park."

"Isn't that the wealthy widow community?"

"Yes, and my part was that of a delightfully eccentric cat woman who's husband died old and left her money."

"Well the eccentric cat woman part wasn't much of a stretch"

"Hannah! How many times do I have to tell you! Cats are evil overlords they are waiting to lead us into the new age when they are the masters and we the pets."

Hannah selected a new donut. "Speaking of the werecat case, you got paid for that right?"

"Sure, the check is around here somewhere"

"When are you going to unpack?"

"Don't like forest elves come by and do that?  I mean we are in the pacific northwest wasn't your big selling point that everything here is magical."

"That is not how it works"

"I am pretty sure a leprechaun has been coming in the office at night and moving my shoes around"

"No that's me because I trip over them because there is so much crap here.  Why do you have so many shoes at the office anyway"

"Because I had a premonition that I broke my sandal in my flip flops."

"So you need fifteen pairs of shoes in case your sandal breaks"

"Well who knows what mood I'll be in when it breaks"


The cell phone in the coffee mug started to ring.  The woman swooped over and answered it with a ridicules accent. "Hellur, dis es da Psychic Detective Ahgency of the Jeni, how I can heeeeeeeeelp eweeeee?" There was a long pause.  The woman made a weird face then her face light up with glee. "One moment pleeeeease." She put the phone on mute.  "Hannah how hard would it be for you to get a couple weeks off work?"

"Probably not to bad, I can always work from home why?"

The woman put the phone back to her ear.  "Yaaaa, she's available send da tickets to da Pooortland oooooffice as soon as possible.  For two yaaa? Guuuuuuud, haff a gut day yea?" She hung up and started dancing balancing her coffee as her knees lept akimbo through the air Hannah stepped back. 

"What the hell dude?"

"Pack your bags lady we're going to FRANCE!"

"What is in France?" Hannah said skeptically.  

"My next case" she stopped dancing and turned smiling with impish delight. 


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