Fat chicks smell like what?

So this weekend I did a little of this:









While my friends did a little of this:










I suffered from tent envy....it was very sad.


We had one of these:





I cooked over it every morning, bacon and eggs. I love the smell of the open campfire its like a slice of heaven.






We cooked like this:























So of course I ate like that:

















Then I went home and my developmentally challenged aunt (she has downs syndrome) was visiting my parents. Like the good daughter that I am I took her home walked her inside and her best friends (also challenged but the sweetest little lady EVER!) Patted me on the stomach and asked when I was due. My aunt reply, "No she ain't havin' no baby!"

I went back home and proclaimed that I was now on a mission to loose weight. My best friend was there and offered to work out with me to keep me on track. Then we went to Olive Garden and had never ending pasta dishes. (Yea, I really took that to heart huh?)

This morning I bounded out of bed and decided yes we would work out. I searched through the bowels of my closet and unearthed the only sanctioned work out clothes and sports bra that I own and went out to great my friend who had arrived for our workout.

She was sitting in my living room eating sonic, with large tater tots a RTE44 coke and a sandwich







I of course laughed. She ate it and we went to the gym. I was on the eliptical working my chunkiosity off of me and really getting into it, our goal 20 min. When I thought melt away chunkyness melt away! Then I thought man I'm sweating my proverbial but right off! Then i thought man I smell bacon and it smells good! Then I thought bacon? Who makes bacon at the gym? Is it bacon air freshener to make you work out harder? Is it someone making bacon some where, man does that bacon smell good.

You see this is us-->

















And then she looks at me and says man do you smell bacon? And I thought oh she smells it too! I wiped the sweat that was pooling on my brow with my arm. MAN! I thought my arm smells like.............wait for it......



Campfire




mixed in with




BACON!!!!!



OMG I was sweating bacon scent out of my pores!!!!!!!! I was like what the hell?!?!??! Do all fat chicks smell like bacon?





Then my super sweet bacon gobbling best friend said, well did you take a shower since we got back from camping?


Well no

Now here's the really important part folks, I only had 1 piece of bacon all weekend, I cooked 4 lbs of bacon for everyone else but they ate it faster than I could cook. Yet I was the one who smelled like bacon! I was sweating bacon deliciousness out of MY pores!

So today's lesson:



Fat chicks smell like BACON