Wednesday, June 15, 2016

The Ribbiting Tale of Fit and Tall Whose Paths Croissant Quatro

The car stopped. “Curse?” Hannah said.
Jeni threw the door to the car open before the driver had even put the car in park.  She flew out of seat with the speed of a cheetah and she ran past bystanders like she was running from an assailant.  She disappeared into a cafe.  
The driver got out and started shaking his fist at her retreating figure while yelling something in French.  He opened Hannah’s door with a scowl and said something.  Hannah looked apologetic and started in the same direction as Jeni. The driver gestured across the street to a different building.  Hannah looked uncomfortable
“No no, she’s the psychic one, I have no idea what’s going on” Hannah explained knowing her efforts were completely futile.
The driver slammed the door to the car shut and stalked after Jeni who suddenly reemerged from the cafe with a cup of coffee and a croissant.  She nodded at the driver and sipped her coffee.  He walked up to her and started to converse loudly in French.  Jeni nodded took a bite of her croissant and then sipped her coffee. He started to point across the street.  She shook her head and sat at a little table.
“Are you trying to determine if he has a licence to kill us?” Hannah said coming up.
The driver gesticulated more wildly toward the building across the street. He was getting really red in the face.  
“Shush, the coffee is still magical until I can drink it without it burning my mouth. Eat some croissant” Jeni said offering up the croissant.
Hannah sighed gave the driver an apologetic look again and sat down while taking a bite of the croissant.  At this point the driver looked like he might have a massive coronary the color of red was so extraordinary.
“He’s going to die young” Hannah said.
“That’s what happens when you deprive people of coffee” Jeni muttered.  Then suddenly she took a big gulp of her coffee.  The look on her face indicated it was still hotter than she could really tolerate but wasn’t going back.
“Oh my god this croissant is amazing”
“That’s because we haven’t eaten in 17 hours.  I’m fat, I should not be deprived of real food for 17 hours.” Jeni said taking another large drink completely drowning out the driver who looked like he was about to explode.  She was having some sort of private holy moment with her coffee.
Finally giving up the driver yelled one last thing and sat down in a huff with his arms across his chest. Hannah inspected and ate at the croissant.
“So you said something about a curse” Hannah said.
Jeni shook her head still having her moment of enlightenment.
People passed on the streets with lively conversations.  From inside the cafe music played softly.  A waiter came to the table but the driver shooed him away.  Jeni raised an eyebrow at him then glared.  Finally, she finished her coffee and set the cup down sadly.
The driver stood immediately.  Jeni gave him the death glare. He started to get red in the face as they stared at each other.  Hannah uncomfortable stood up.
“Stop antagonizing him before he finds a reason to sell us into the sex trade” Hannah said.
“Eh, they want young hot things, you would do well, they would return me” Jeni said slowly standing and stretching. She made a production out of returning her cup to the cafe.  When she emerged she smiled at Hannah.  She had reapplied her lipstick and replaced her thick glasses with heavy winged eyeliner.
“Oh my god.” Hannah said.  
Jeni’s smile widened.  “OH I forgot to mention, our cover is that we are models.  Fit and Tall.  So collect yourself and strut your ass off as we walk in there.”
“Wait what do you mean fit and tall?”
Jeni put on a huge pair of sunglasses and started strutting across the street the driver wildly trying to keep cars from hitting her Hannah followed noting that Jeni in heels was a terrifying prospect and that she hoped to god this wasn’t going to happen every day in Paris.
Jeni waited outside the door of the building across the street. She waited expectantly for the driver to open the door.  He glared at her.  She lowered her glasses and glared over the top.  He opened the door and she walked in with purpose. Hannah followed, she could hear the driver muttering things under his breath.  
Once inside Jeni whipped her sunglasses off dramatically.  Hannah stood a little behind her, eyes adjusting to the dimmer room. Music pumped loudly and a skinny short woman ran up to them.
“Non! Non!” she shouted over the music.
“Oui!” Jeni shouted back.
“Non!” The woman shouted then a loud tirade accompanied her pleading no.
The driver suddenly started to talk. The woman frowned then looked skeptically at Jeni and Hannah.  The former suddenly striking what appeared to be her interpretation of a model’s pose based on what the skinny mannequins at the malls looked like. Hannah looked at her exasperated.
“Oh my god what is wrong with you” Hannah yelled.
The woman frowned again.  “You are the Americans?  No?” she asked.
“Oui!” Jeni shouted.
“Fit and Tall?”
“Oui!” Jeni shouted again.  
The woman sized Jeni and Hannah up.  “You must be Fit!” She said to Hannah.
Jeni pushed in, “How dare you assume that she’s Fit!  It’s quite obvious she’s Tall!”
“You are taller!” The woman shouted back.
“She had the name before we became models”
“Tu es mannequin?” The woman shouted.
“Did she just ask if you were a mannequin?” Hannah asked.
Jeni shook her head at Hannah while yelling, “Oui! Je suis un mannequin!”
The girl frowned again.  
Jeni frowned.  “S’il vous plait prende me a Mr. Sangril!”
The girl scowled.  Jeni suddenly struck a pose and sucked in her cheeks. A tall garishly dressed man walked through the door.
He spoke with the girl for a moment frowned then laughed.  “Oui, Oui, these are the American models!” He said.
The girl gave him a disbelieving look.  He waved Jeni and Hannah on.  Jeni waited while Hannah and the driver moved forward.  He suddenly stopped and looked at Jeni.  She was staring down the girl. Both had looks of disgust on their faces but were not willing to be the first to blink. Jeni suddenly stuck her tongue out at the girl who looked horrified.  Then Jeni strutted away.
“What is wrong with you today?” Hannah asked. “Stop starting things with every person you meet.”
“I dunno,” Jeni said.  “I dig this guy with his fancy overcoat. Maybe he and I will become besties and solve crimes together psychically” she made a face at Hannah.
Hannah laughed.
They walked up a flight of stairs to an office where a man was yelling at several people who were holding papers, swatches of fabric and other items including a cup of coffee.  He waved them off grabbing the coffee from the nervous cadre of assistants.
The driver waited by the door as the assistants ran out.  Jeni stood importantly in front of the desk. The garishly dressed man ran out with the assistants shutting the door.

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